Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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