dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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