just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
