JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize