thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
