We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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