I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
