btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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