If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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