Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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