I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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