Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize