Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
