you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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