just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
