I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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