I'm passing your future prison.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
