She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize