my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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