Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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