it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
