I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
