I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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