he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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