once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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