this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
