and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
