...so i touched it.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
