It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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