your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We're like a lot better than the average bears
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
