You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
