ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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