I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
