hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
