bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
