Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
