I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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