she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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