I am spending my child support on dildos
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need a beard to bite.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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