I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize