I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
