the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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