Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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