And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
