Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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