in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
