i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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