You really coming over, don't trick.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
