i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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