We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
