Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
