how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
