One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Still dying that you shit outside
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
