Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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