God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I deserve this hangover.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
