Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want her autograph on my taint
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I love you. Go after that dick
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